Doggies

Ozzy.

I have a dog named Ozzy that my mom named after "The Wizard of Oz" because he is the same type of dog as Toto. Why she didn't just name him "Toto" I'll never know, because now I am stuck with correcting everyone who meets the thing that he is in fact not named after Ozzy Osbourne, and no, he is not on a crazy train. I'm sorry to all of you dog lovers who read this, but I just had to say something. I don't like dogs, I don't like pets. Baby animals are cute and wonderful, and cats are pretty cool, but dogs? No. Ozzy is alright, but he is not my favorite thing my family owns. He has advantages, I suppose, like he can roll over if you bribe him, he can shake your hand, he can make himself look cute once in a while... but the cons totally outweigh the pros. Ozzy looks like a dirty mop (and smells like one) almost all of the time, he whines when he is inside the house until you let him outside, and once he is outside he barks until you let him in, he throws up in the house, he steals your food, and we have to pay for his food and junk. Anyways, I think I've bashed my dog enough for the day, allow to me move on...

 I have a few inspiring quotes for all of you.

- "If your dog doesn't like someone you probably shouldn't either."- Unknown    Even if you thought this person was a saint, and he/she was the kindest and truest friend ever, you should not keep your good opinion of him/her if your dog barks at them, because they must really be an awful human being underneath all of that goodness.

-"They [dogs] never talk about themselves but listen to you while you talk about yourself, and keep up an appearance of being interested in the conversation."- Jerome K. Jerome We are a selfish, selfish, species.

-"To err is human, to forgive, canine." -Unknown Hah, dogs definitely err. If they didn't, I wouldn't ever be cleaning up dog poo/vomit on the kitchen floor.

"The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven, not man's."- Mark Twain   Okay, Mr. Twain, have fun there. I'm sure it rains dog treats and smells like bacon.

"Bulldogs are adorable, with faces like toads that have been sat on."- Colette

   The uglier things are, the cuter they seem to be.

"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."- Andrew A. Rooney  Yeah, well, so is the average hamster, or iguana, or dolphin. Wait... is a dog a person?

P.S. Deep down I do love my dog in a strange way. Really.